San Kocoń about his non-binary nature: At the beginning, I was wrong myself

San Kocoń about his non-binary nature: At the beginning, I was wrong myself

San Kocoń ran in the Sejm elections on the lists of the Civic Coalition from Kraków. It didn’t get in. However, “Gazeta Wyborcza” decided to recall the interview with this activist in order to familiarize Poles with the issue of non-binary.

As we read in the “Wyborcza” article, San Kocoń is not only a candidate in the elections, but also “a non-binary, queer, student and activist person.” It says about itself that it is neutral in relation to the female and male gender. He has been using the pronouns “ono” for less than two years and claims that since then his life has changed for the better.

San Kocoń about gender dysphoria

– When I said this about myself out loud for the first time, I immediately felt the so-called sexual euphoria. Because transgender, binary and those who do not identify with any gender often experience gender dysphoria. “It” was it. I felt proud of myself, Kocoń emphasized. As he admits, at the beginning he made mistakes.

– It doesn’t bother me when people do the same, as long as they don’t insist on one form. Especially the one related to the gender entered in the documents – it assured. – The people I meet don’t have a problem with it. At my request, they use these pronouns. In this way they show their respect for me, it explained.

– I also encounter people’s reactions that “it” is too much for them, that they are unable to overcome this barrier. And now they are asking me to respect their decision – they will not talk to me like that, period. However, it is difficult to talk about respect versus lack of respect. It is my human right to be who I am and to talk about myself as I feel, said San Kocoń.

An activist person emphasizes that he is not doing anything bad to anyone. It does not introduce new words, but uses those that have existed in the Polish language for a long time. – All little children learned that there is “the sun”, “there is the sea”. I don’t understand why this would be subversive? – it noticed. As she admitted, she has had two coming-outs.

Coming out San Kocoń

San Kocoń’s first attempt to explain her gender identity to her loved ones took place at the age of 16. – First, I sent signals. I would sit in the living room and read a queer guide so my mother could see. I displayed the rainbow cover. No reaction, nothing. Finally, I decided to say it straight, it said. As he admits, he made a mistake by telling his mother about it in a cafe in a shopping mall, in a crowd of people.

– We had two days of difficult talks. They didn’t understand what bisexuality was, they thought that you could “only” be a lesbian or gay. I guess, like most people, I heard something along the lines of “it’s a phase, you’ll get over it,” she recalled. – They didn’t treat me like a freak. They treated themselves this way. They began to look for fault within themselves. Wonder where they made their educational mistake, they said.

Five years later, almost everyone around Kocoń used neutral pronouns. – However, the parents still didn’t know anything about it. With “ono”, I chose a different tactic. I wrote a long, honest letter to my mother. I explained where it came from and why I felt this way. I have included scientific definitions. I placed the letter in a visible place and went for a walk with my sister. We’re back. Reaction? Neutral, it said.

As Kocoń emphasized, there was no problem with dad. – He accepts things as they are, mom needs more analysis. Yet it is impossible to explain why we are born the way we are and not others. There is no single answer, it argued. – It will take time for parents to get used to it. It’s similar with eating meat; I haven’t touched it in six years and they still give it to me. They will understand eventually, she assured.

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